I know that I'm not, but I can't help but feel like one right now... Hubby's girl cousin apparently announced she is pregnant. I was/am devastated, when I found out I was in the middle of orientation for my new job. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, I wanted to puke from all the knots in my stomach. I was angry, and sad, and ... Well I suppose jealous.
I know I will be happy for her at some point...right? I feel bad that I'm not happy now. But I'm not. Not even a little bit. I'm still upset right now, and I'm not even sure how to make this feeling go away. I would be fine if I didn't have to see her for a while, so that way I don't have to try to pretend to be happy.
And since I feel so bad for feeling this way I almost don't even want to post this, because if I post it then it's real. I will have admitted to someone that the truth.
In fact I found out 3 people were pregnant today. But of the 3 girl cousin is the one that makes me mad. The other two only make me sad and jealous.
I don't know what else to even say right now... And so I won't.
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On a separate note I have been MIA the past week with everything that's been going on with hubby's brother, and trying to put into words some things that have been bothering me. I have written 3 blog posts that I will be posting soon. Finding the right words has been difficult.
I did take some time to start redecorating my blog. I can not figure out how to center my header...it's really bothering me, I found two different sets of directions but still no luck.
Any help with that would be appreciated.
I'm not really a horrible person.
V
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