So the past few days have been stressful to say the least, and I feel like the next eleven will be as well but our moods have shifted and we are feeling more optimistic.
If you recall I posted earlier this week that I was having some spotting, it wasn't red but it was there and I was scared. It continued again Thursday on and off, sometimes I'd go to the bathroom and it would be there, sometimes we'd be all clear. Friday was a great day, clear ALL day! I was so happy, we decided to go out for dinner with MOH and hubby's cousin (her fiancé), dinner was great, everyone was carefree and having a good time. And then we got home and I went the bathroom...
There it was. And it was red. Not bright red but red. I panicked grabbed the keys and told hubby (who had some beers at dinner and was half in the bag) to get in the car. The drive down was a blur. I remember trying to keep my composure so I could drive there without crashing. Waiting in triage I started panicking. Luckily it remained as spotting, no one even looked down there. The doctor did a quick scan on the portable ultrasound machine to make sure it wasn't ectopic, took some blood and since I had stopped spotting at the time sent me home. But told us we needed to come back for an actual ultrasound.
This morning I woke to our phone ringing, in my hazy half awake state I spoke to the ultrasound tech who asked if we could be there at 9am (less than an hour). Oh ya that's right, last night wasn't a dream.. So we hurried back to the hospital, me chugging three tall glasses of water on the way.
So we had an ultrasound, first an abdominal one and then I had my first introduction to the wand ma jiggy (or whatever it was Maria called it lol). Ya that was awkward, Hubby's face was kinda funny when she explained where that was going! She took a bunch of pics, pushed on my stomach, had me hold my breath, all sorts of fun. Hubby told me later that when I was holding my breath she was looking for a heartbeat. Obviously we didn't expect to see one, after all I'm only going on 6 weeks tomorrow and everywhere I've read said that's the week it starts.
After the technician was done and I was getting dressed Hubby was all excited. I didn't get to see the screen but he could, and he was convinced he saw the baby. Horray for baby being in my uterus (we think) next we had to wait for the doctor to come with the results.
We waited just over an hour, which wasn't too bad. We went and got breakfast at the hospitals cafe and it was actually pretty good. Next we were ushered into one of the gyne rooms in emerg (thankfully not the same room that I hemorrhaged in) after a short wait the doctor came, asked how I was feeling, no cramps? No bleeding? Then asked if the tech told us anything....
We just kinda looked at each other and waited for the worst. But to our surprise the doctor had a grin on his face and told us the scan reveled a healthy pregnancy and even a heartbeat! I'm not sure who said what but Hubby and I were so shocked to hear him say heartbeat lol there was a "WHAT" and "ALREADY?" and the doctor chuckled a little.
So currently the little bean has a heartbeat :) I feel so relieved. Were not totally out of the woods yet but we can see thru the trees. They couldn't find any reason for the spotting, but they seemed optimistic everything was looking good. So now we count down to the ultrasound which I am still nervous about but feeling much better. Only eleven more days.
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Not feeling to positive :(
I'm going to start by saying I highly dislike my doctor.... She doesn't have a clue...
*warning potentially TMI descriptions used*
My day today started with my 530am (becoming routine) pee, in my half awake state I notice that the toilet paper had a slightly brownish discharge to it (I always look cause I'm paranoid), I was kinda freaked but shrugged it off and went back to sleep.
An hour later I made myself (so I could look) pee again before leaving to take Hubby to work... There it was again....light brown on the toilet paper... I was slightly more panicked but didn't tell Hubby.
After I dropped him off I came home and went back to sleep. I woke around 9:30 and pee'd again...this time all clear. But it didn't help my growing fear...I called the doctors office and told the receptionist (who is the sweetest thing ever) she told me to stay in bed if possible and call her if there's blood. My appointment was at 1:20pm so I spent the morning in bed, pee'd a few more times (still clear) and tried to relax.
At my appointment I pee'd in my cup and noticed a slight tinge on the toilet paper again. Not as noticeable as before but it was there. My doctor (whom I saw for confirmation last week) asked all the same questions as before, as if it was my first time seeing her. When was my last period, is this my first pregnancy, do I have living children etc in-between my answers she flipped thru my chart looking at papers (papers that should have had the info I'm telling her). Then she asks (with a puzzled look) when my last pap was. Duh it should be in my file it was in January when I was pregnant. Then she says she needs to have the results faxed to her so we can determine if I need another? Wtf after the last pap she sat there with the supposed results in her hand and told me all was good. Where did they go?
After about 5 minutes she comes back says the results arrived I don't need one, just one swab to send for cultures and has me do it myself. Wouldnt you know it, there it was on the swab the brownish discharge. To me it looks similar to the discharge right before or right after my period... She just looks at it and says book an appointment in 4 weeks and if I start to bleed go to the hospital.
That's it?!?!
WTF?!?
I haven't been having any "cramping" just a few twinges and a kind of stretching feeling the past few days. So now I just sit and have to wait and see what happens. Great.
I'm trying really really hard to stay positive. Some ppl have actual bleeding and have successful pregnancies... I could be fine.
Today I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
Oh and yesterday I found out girl cousin is having twins. So ya how's that for salt in the wound....I'm probably gonna skip out of our big brother gathering tomorrow....
*warning potentially TMI descriptions used*
My day today started with my 530am (becoming routine) pee, in my half awake state I notice that the toilet paper had a slightly brownish discharge to it (I always look cause I'm paranoid), I was kinda freaked but shrugged it off and went back to sleep.
An hour later I made myself (so I could look) pee again before leaving to take Hubby to work... There it was again....light brown on the toilet paper... I was slightly more panicked but didn't tell Hubby.
After I dropped him off I came home and went back to sleep. I woke around 9:30 and pee'd again...this time all clear. But it didn't help my growing fear...I called the doctors office and told the receptionist (who is the sweetest thing ever) she told me to stay in bed if possible and call her if there's blood. My appointment was at 1:20pm so I spent the morning in bed, pee'd a few more times (still clear) and tried to relax.
At my appointment I pee'd in my cup and noticed a slight tinge on the toilet paper again. Not as noticeable as before but it was there. My doctor (whom I saw for confirmation last week) asked all the same questions as before, as if it was my first time seeing her. When was my last period, is this my first pregnancy, do I have living children etc in-between my answers she flipped thru my chart looking at papers (papers that should have had the info I'm telling her). Then she asks (with a puzzled look) when my last pap was. Duh it should be in my file it was in January when I was pregnant. Then she says she needs to have the results faxed to her so we can determine if I need another? Wtf after the last pap she sat there with the supposed results in her hand and told me all was good. Where did they go?
After about 5 minutes she comes back says the results arrived I don't need one, just one swab to send for cultures and has me do it myself. Wouldnt you know it, there it was on the swab the brownish discharge. To me it looks similar to the discharge right before or right after my period... She just looks at it and says book an appointment in 4 weeks and if I start to bleed go to the hospital.
That's it?!?!
WTF?!?
I haven't been having any "cramping" just a few twinges and a kind of stretching feeling the past few days. So now I just sit and have to wait and see what happens. Great.
I'm trying really really hard to stay positive. Some ppl have actual bleeding and have successful pregnancies... I could be fine.
Today I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
Oh and yesterday I found out girl cousin is having twins. So ya how's that for salt in the wound....I'm probably gonna skip out of our big brother gathering tomorrow....
Monday, July 11, 2011
Owie owie owie
:( I am a giant stripped lobster.
I decided to spend my day off today lounging in the pool over at Hubby's Aunts house. It was great. Such a good way to spend a hot day. I usually do not burn much, maybe my face might get a little red but it usually fades after a day. Well usually I am not hanging out by water when tanning, and I kinda forgot it attracts the suns rays... And now I am a red hot mess. And to make it worse I have stripes... Apparently I must have been sitting on an angle, because the left half of my face is turning bright red, and the right side of my face and neck are super white... I have stripes down most of my body too... I don't remember it being so hard to get an even tan when I was younger. Evil evil sun.
Pictures to follow because it is too horrible to keep to myself :(
Oh and I am almost out of aloe vera.... This is gonna suck.
I decided to spend my day off today lounging in the pool over at Hubby's Aunts house. It was great. Such a good way to spend a hot day. I usually do not burn much, maybe my face might get a little red but it usually fades after a day. Well usually I am not hanging out by water when tanning, and I kinda forgot it attracts the suns rays... And now I am a red hot mess. And to make it worse I have stripes... Apparently I must have been sitting on an angle, because the left half of my face is turning bright red, and the right side of my face and neck are super white... I have stripes down most of my body too... I don't remember it being so hard to get an even tan when I was younger. Evil evil sun.
Pictures to follow because it is too horrible to keep to myself :(
Oh and I am almost out of aloe vera.... This is gonna suck.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Holy it's Saturday already!
This week has flown by.
I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on, I tried a few times to get on here but Hubby has been hogging the iPad. Between lack of access (because apparently turning on the actual computer is too much work) and being at work I haven't felt overly ambitious to sign on.
Work is different. Different as in a different role than I'm used to, less responsibility than I'm use to, and more residents that I'm caring for. A lot more. Tuesday evening was straight up hell. I was supposed to be having my second orientation shift but instead was put on the floor with an RN to oversee me because they were so short. Sure put the girl who hasn't passed pills on a med cart and have her give medications to 48 complete strangers, oh and have someone who never passes pills supervise her and call it training. I was dreading going back but Thursday was much better. Different floor, actual orientation and a really helpful and nice nurse training me. I got back this Thursday for one more training shift then I'm on my own next weekend.
Wednesday I went to see my doctor to get the official confirmation on the pregnancy. Of course I pee'd in a cup and she said I was pregnant. That's pretty much it. Sometimes I don't like my doctor and that was one of those days. I felt rushed, she didn't say anything about the miscarriage and didn't ask me if I even had questions or concerns. As she was filling out the req for my blood work I asked her if there was anything I should or shouldn't be doing. Should eat healthy, remain stress free as possible, and take my vitamins. The should not list includes exercise and sex. Good to know, would she have told me if I hadn't asked? I also had her write me a note to excuse me from night shifts at work, I wanted this anyways since it really puts stress on my body but I think now that I'm pregnant it helped. Avoid stress for healthy pregnancy, also avoid stress to reduce risk of epileptic seizures. I had to give the letter to the occupational nurse at work and also reveled to her my pregnancy. I figured I'd better just be upfront now.
I go back to my doctor this coming Wednesday for I think an exam? I also got my ultrasound booked for July 27th. Seems to close but I guess I will be almost 8 weeks at that time, and they think the last one stopped growing around that time. I anticipate that week will be very stressful... I think I'm going to ask for more blood work prior or else I might have a panic attack in the ultrasound waiting room.
Hubby has been pretty nervous, we've actually been having some good conversations are things in general. He's worried about the next few weeks, as well worried about next March and having a baby while he's finishing trade school and preparing to write his exam for his license. Things like how are we going to afford this, what if I get put on bed rest or have to take sick leave, what if he gets laid off in the next few months? I'm also having mixed emotions these days, I'm excited, but I'm terrified.
Tomorrow I will be five weeks pregnant.
Besides the fact that in the evenings my stomach swells in size so much you'd think I was four months pregnant I haven't been having many symptoms. Im still a recent visitor to the bathroom my kidneys must be working in overdrive, my headaches have been gone since last Sunday (after a daily headache for almost a week), there have been one or two occasions of very mild nausea but I think it had more to do with being hungry or from eating.
I want to be more excited. I should be more excited. It doesn't seem fair that this has to be tainted because of fears while other are completely oblivious and having carefree pregnancies.
I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on, I tried a few times to get on here but Hubby has been hogging the iPad. Between lack of access (because apparently turning on the actual computer is too much work) and being at work I haven't felt overly ambitious to sign on.
Work is different. Different as in a different role than I'm used to, less responsibility than I'm use to, and more residents that I'm caring for. A lot more. Tuesday evening was straight up hell. I was supposed to be having my second orientation shift but instead was put on the floor with an RN to oversee me because they were so short. Sure put the girl who hasn't passed pills on a med cart and have her give medications to 48 complete strangers, oh and have someone who never passes pills supervise her and call it training. I was dreading going back but Thursday was much better. Different floor, actual orientation and a really helpful and nice nurse training me. I got back this Thursday for one more training shift then I'm on my own next weekend.
Wednesday I went to see my doctor to get the official confirmation on the pregnancy. Of course I pee'd in a cup and she said I was pregnant. That's pretty much it. Sometimes I don't like my doctor and that was one of those days. I felt rushed, she didn't say anything about the miscarriage and didn't ask me if I even had questions or concerns. As she was filling out the req for my blood work I asked her if there was anything I should or shouldn't be doing. Should eat healthy, remain stress free as possible, and take my vitamins. The should not list includes exercise and sex. Good to know, would she have told me if I hadn't asked? I also had her write me a note to excuse me from night shifts at work, I wanted this anyways since it really puts stress on my body but I think now that I'm pregnant it helped. Avoid stress for healthy pregnancy, also avoid stress to reduce risk of epileptic seizures. I had to give the letter to the occupational nurse at work and also reveled to her my pregnancy. I figured I'd better just be upfront now.
I go back to my doctor this coming Wednesday for I think an exam? I also got my ultrasound booked for July 27th. Seems to close but I guess I will be almost 8 weeks at that time, and they think the last one stopped growing around that time. I anticipate that week will be very stressful... I think I'm going to ask for more blood work prior or else I might have a panic attack in the ultrasound waiting room.
Hubby has been pretty nervous, we've actually been having some good conversations are things in general. He's worried about the next few weeks, as well worried about next March and having a baby while he's finishing trade school and preparing to write his exam for his license. Things like how are we going to afford this, what if I get put on bed rest or have to take sick leave, what if he gets laid off in the next few months? I'm also having mixed emotions these days, I'm excited, but I'm terrified.
Tomorrow I will be five weeks pregnant.
Besides the fact that in the evenings my stomach swells in size so much you'd think I was four months pregnant I haven't been having many symptoms. Im still a recent visitor to the bathroom my kidneys must be working in overdrive, my headaches have been gone since last Sunday (after a daily headache for almost a week), there have been one or two occasions of very mild nausea but I think it had more to do with being hungry or from eating.
I want to be more excited. I should be more excited. It doesn't seem fair that this has to be tainted because of fears while other are completely oblivious and having carefree pregnancies.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Long Weekend recap
Happy Fourth of July to my American friends :) Hope you are enjoying your day off today... I have to work... But I also did have Friday off while you were at work ;) lol
So Friday being that it was Canada day we enjoyed a nice BBQ with swimming (for some, I didn't feel like it) at Hubby's cousin's house. This is one of those second cousins but because they are Italian everyone is just a "cousin" lol. Anyhoo we had a great time, the weather was gorgeous, everyone wore their red and white clothes, we even put on a few patriotic temporary tattoos (one of the little kids had on 8 by the end of the day). The food was great. I BBQ but my BBQ never tastes as good as when other people do it... I must figure out what I am missing ... lol Hubby and I were exhausted by the end of the day. Good sleep was had that night for sure. Oh and there was firework right in our own backyard this year! We opted not to go down to the water (its always crazy busy) and got to watch the neighbors put on their own display (which may or may not have been illegal since I'm pretty sure the bilaw states you need to be 100ft from any houses...)
Oh and Friday I attempted to do my first ever french braid on my bangs... its kind of sad looking but not bad considering ;) It looked cute from a front view... that could just be me ;)
Saturday was kind of a relax at home, do a few chores, work on a few projects kind of day. I'm trying to make a cake topper for MOH's wedding cake... its proving to be a challenging task and I hope she likes it. If she doesn't want to use it I understand too lol. It was during my time working on the cake topper that I got the urge to test and as I've already told you it was positive! I called the doctors office today and I go in tomorrow to confirm :) I'm trying to remain positive and not worry much. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts*** lol Oh and I did tell Hubby later that afternoon, I waited until he seemed kinda liked he liked me again and then told him I wanted to show him what Id been doing all afternoon. lol. Its funny when he sees the stick, he reacted the same last time too, doesn't say too much. Just sort of looks at it, and looks at me with a slight smile on his face, and a slight twinkle in his eye. It takes him a day or two before he really gets excited, I think its processing time lol. He actually brought it up yesterday, said something about the "what ifs" I think he's trying not to get to excited this time because of last time. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts***
Sunday was HOT!! OMG sweating after a 15 minute walk with the dog at 10:30am kinda hot. I didnt even check the weather channel because I simply did not want to know. After taking the dog out I decided to head over to the mall to pick up my fabulous new shoes that I ordered for MOH's wedding. The air conditioning in the mall felt amazing (it wasn't until yesterday evening we finally turned on our central air). When I got home again I found hubby and the animals all hanging out in the basement to get some relief from the heat, and after being home for about maybe 10 minutes I received a bbm from MOH saying they were at Hubby's Aunt's house swimming in the pool. Yay for pools!! You didn't need to ask us twice we jumped up and quickly changed into out suits and spent the whole afternoon lounging in the pool which was followed by another awesome BBQ. I think its offical, summer is here. Two BBQ's and pool "parties" in 3 days = summer :) Oh and after yesterday Hubby decided it was time to turn the air on. We had been putting it off since we get a good breeze through the house and the basement is cool but we are gonna need it if there's more days like yesterday.
So that's my weekend recap :) I start my new job offically this evening.. kinda nervous about that, and I've got that appointment tomorrow... Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts*** :)
Hope everyone had a good weekend!
So Friday being that it was Canada day we enjoyed a nice BBQ with swimming (for some, I didn't feel like it) at Hubby's cousin's house. This is one of those second cousins but because they are Italian everyone is just a "cousin" lol. Anyhoo we had a great time, the weather was gorgeous, everyone wore their red and white clothes, we even put on a few patriotic temporary tattoos (one of the little kids had on 8 by the end of the day). The food was great. I BBQ but my BBQ never tastes as good as when other people do it... I must figure out what I am missing ... lol Hubby and I were exhausted by the end of the day. Good sleep was had that night for sure. Oh and there was firework right in our own backyard this year! We opted not to go down to the water (its always crazy busy) and got to watch the neighbors put on their own display (which may or may not have been illegal since I'm pretty sure the bilaw states you need to be 100ft from any houses...)
Oh and Friday I attempted to do my first ever french braid on my bangs... its kind of sad looking but not bad considering ;) It looked cute from a front view... that could just be me ;)
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| It kinda looks like a braid? Maybe... ? lol |
 | |
| Of course I'm gonna show you ;) That sucker appeared in less than 10 seconds! |
Sunday was HOT!! OMG sweating after a 15 minute walk with the dog at 10:30am kinda hot. I didnt even check the weather channel because I simply did not want to know. After taking the dog out I decided to head over to the mall to pick up my fabulous new shoes that I ordered for MOH's wedding. The air conditioning in the mall felt amazing (it wasn't until yesterday evening we finally turned on our central air). When I got home again I found hubby and the animals all hanging out in the basement to get some relief from the heat, and after being home for about maybe 10 minutes I received a bbm from MOH saying they were at Hubby's Aunt's house swimming in the pool. Yay for pools!! You didn't need to ask us twice we jumped up and quickly changed into out suits and spent the whole afternoon lounging in the pool which was followed by another awesome BBQ. I think its offical, summer is here. Two BBQ's and pool "parties" in 3 days = summer :) Oh and after yesterday Hubby decided it was time to turn the air on. We had been putting it off since we get a good breeze through the house and the basement is cool but we are gonna need it if there's more days like yesterday.
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| Ta Da! I LOVE them :D !! |
Hope everyone had a good weekend!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I couldn't wait....
So there I was just sitting up in my craft room/spare room and all of a sudden I got up walked to the bathroom and pulled out that little test. It was like a little voice in my head told me it was time. I don't know what came over me, I was quite content with waiting another day. So I did it, I tested..... Hubby doesn't know I even bought a test let alone that I took it, and this morning we had a fight. A stupid fight but a fight none the less. He's still mad at me. Kinda avoiding me actually. As stupid as the fight was it wasn't the kind of fight that could be resolved by me telling him about the test either, in fact it might only prolong the fight. So now I'm stumped, how do I tell him about my BFP!?! :)
Sending good thoughts to everyone in their tww :)
Sending good thoughts to everyone in their tww :)
Friday, July 1, 2011
Happy long weekend :)
For everyone who gets a one, Happy long weekend! And if you don't get a long weekend where your from may I suggest taking one anyways? Lol you know you wanna ;)
I've made my pasta salad, beers are in the fridge, I've got my red and white ensemble and I'm ready to celebrate Canada day :) were going to a cousins for a little BBQ and pool party and might go check out the fireworks later too (btw perk of living so close to the border I can watch fireworks today and Monday!)
Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!
p.s. I bought a pregnancy test... It's sitting on the shelf under the bathroom sink. I'm tempted to use it but won't just in case this is just another wonky cycle. If AF doesn't show by Sunday I'm breaking that sucker out!
I've made my pasta salad, beers are in the fridge, I've got my red and white ensemble and I'm ready to celebrate Canada day :) were going to a cousins for a little BBQ and pool party and might go check out the fireworks later too (btw perk of living so close to the border I can watch fireworks today and Monday!)
Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!
p.s. I bought a pregnancy test... It's sitting on the shelf under the bathroom sink. I'm tempted to use it but won't just in case this is just another wonky cycle. If AF doesn't show by Sunday I'm breaking that sucker out!
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