Idol, Bitches, and generalized crappy days

I had a crappy day at work today, consisting of a mini breakdown at approx 10am. I was for lack of better terms "thrown under the bus" by a co worker. This tends to happen regularly with this person, she is constantly trying to achieve power and the upper hand and will toss you aside if it will make her look better. To make it worse she rarely knows what she is actually speaking about, she's very good and taking a small piece of information and spinning it to sound like she is an expert. She blatantly will lie and take credit for things she has no claim too, leaks information, and will go behind your back to whisper in the big bosses ears whenever the mood strikes.

How are you supposed to deal with someone like this? Seriously I am struggling with standing my ground and trying not to cross any lines. I have to bite my tongue often for fear I will be reprimanded for something I had nothing to do with. This has already happened to me twice, both times I am sure originated from her. How do you defend yourself without trashing someone... I bite my tongue and take it. Hopefully I don't snap, I have to be careful because now I am strictly communicating via email so there is a paper trail. Can't be caught being rude ;)

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American Idol is down to the bottom 11 for the 2nd week in a row. Last week's elimination Casey was saved by the judges wild card vote. I'm not sure if I agree with that but whatever... Something about that beard....he almost seems like that ugly loser kid who grew a beard and suddenly had a claim to fame. Haha I swear I'm not a shallow bitch ;) his voice is decent enough but still not sure if he was justifiable for the save.

My favorites still are Paul and Pia, their performances this week were not their strongest and had no real wow factor. Hopefully it was enough for them both to be safe since this week two contestants will be going home. I think Elton John songs are just not their strong points.

Pia is more like a Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera type singer. Her voice is so strong and beautiful.

I absolutely love Paul's voice. It is so distinct and unique, not to mention sexy ;), I'm a sucker for a good acoustic song and he has the perfect voice to go with a guitar. He reminds me a little of James Blunt mixed with Kings of Leon. Oh and that smile!

Honorable mentions this week include Stefano, James, Thia and Haley.

I really am not a Stefano fan, simply can not stand him. Sure he's got a good voice but really how far would he go? I can not honestly see him having a mainstream career in the long run. However tonight singing Tiny Dancer was in my opinion the 2nd best of the night.

James gets a mention simply because of his ability to work the crowd. His voice is not that exciting but he is one of the best performers of the season. I think it will be I interesting to see if he makes it to the end and gets to perform with Steven Tyler ( I am an Aerosmith diehard from early childhood).

Thia... Oh Thia... Really I have some sort of dislike for her.. Not too sure why but I will admit she has a great voice and sang Daniel with emense passion and nailed it. So for this week I will like her ;)

Haley! Way to finish the show with a bang! She rocked Benny and the Jets! Best performance of the night by far. Her voice is so raunchy and powerful she just killed it. I've never really paid much attention to her before today... Might have to keep an eye on that one.



Can't wait for "The Voice" to stand this April.

Purple is for ...

Epilepsy awareness. March is Epilepsy awareness month and being the life long epileptic that I am I figured I should educated the blog world a little on Epilepsy.

A few basic facts:

- Epilepsy is a Physical condition that from time produces brief disturbances in the normal electrical functions of the brain. It is characterized by sudden brief seizures whose nature and intensity vary from person to person.

- Epilepsy is a disorder not a disease; it is not contagious.

- In Canada an average of 42 people a day learn they have Epilepsy.

- In approximately 50% of cases of childhood Epilepsy, seizures disappear completely.

- In 50-60% of cases the cause of Epilepsy is unknown.

- There are over 40 different kinds of seizures that are all categorized into two main types; primary generalized and partial.

My story:

I had my first seizure while still in the hospital when I was only 2 days old; over the next 7 or 8 years I continued to have less obvious seizures (as discovered in retrospect), these included absence seizures, nocturnal seizures, hallucination seizures as well as others. At some point around the age 7 or 8 I started having the more known now called tonic clonic aka grand mal seizures, the fall down unconscious and shake kind. The first time it happened my mom took me to the hospital and the doctor told her it was because I was constipated, no tests, just gave me a stool softener and sent us on our way. That obviously was not the cause because I had several more over the next couple years and after lots of doctor visits and some tests they finally at age 10 diagnosed me with Epilepsy. It took a few years to get the right meds to control my seizures but by the age 16 I had been seizure free for a year and was being weaned off my meds so that I could get my drivers license and have a chance at a "normal" teenage life. Since then I have had one confirmed seizure which was caused by my appendix swelling, and a couple "coulda been but no ones sure". I'm "seizure free" in my medical records for 11 years. There's a chance I could have them again some day; my seizures originated from both halfs of my brain, and from 3 of the 4 lobes. So technically you could say I have some major Brian damage ;) it's a wonder I'm so smart! My Epilepsy is not a secret, but I provide the information usually on a need to know basis. Simply because I do not like to draw too much attention to myself.

A few myths and fun facts:

MYTH - you can swallow your tongue during a seizure - FACT - it is Physically impossible to swallow your tongue, despite popular belief

MYTH - people with Epilepsy are disabled and can not work - FACT - altho it can be more difficult to train and find work if someone is having active uncontrolled seizures, people with Epilepsy hold jobs in all levels of business. I for example have my nursing license and work in a management position in a nursing home.

Fun Fact - a few more famous people with epilepsy include: Vincent Van Gogh, Charles Dickens, Julius Ceaser, Price, Neil Young, Lewis Carrol and many more.

Fun Fact - Vincent Van Gogh often painted his experiences with epilepsy; one of his most famous is "starry night" which is believed to be his portrayal of a visionary seizure.

Fun Fact - Lewis Carrol, author of Alice in wonderland is thought to have been describing his own temporal lobe seizures throughout the novel. Most specifically when Alice falls through the rabbit hole, Also when Alice experiences her body shrinking and growing this is another seizure phenomen experienced by some epileptics.

I personally have a sentimental attachment to the Alice in Wonderland story, I myself have experienced many of the things described in the novel including what has already been mention in addition to others.

And that is all the educating for today :) time for bed!

She flies thru the air with the greatest of ease

Yesterday's meeting was informative yet unsuccessful as we hit a dead end with our plan. There were a lot of great ideas, but unfortunately the product developers are not able to proceed with our plans until the software bigwig agrees to look at our plan. Sound confusing? That's all the details I can give ;) basically we use a software that could be improved with this plan of ours. If successful it would be a very big deal for long term care facilities. We have all the connections and templates it's a matter of the software agreeing to try it. Blah.
The doctor is still pretty convinced that we will make it happen, I'll just keep working until needed again I suppose.
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Cute side note my mini me sister has been texting me non stop for the past 24hours; one of her birthday gifts was a cell phone! As much as I enjoy the texts, shes 13! Geez.. Most the texts are followed by "hehehe" which makes me laugh each time.
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So my adventure today consisted on myself and my mom driving to Montreal and taking flying trapeze lessons! My mom has done it a few times, and I had been making fun of her for it but decided to check it out. It was hard! My muscles hurt sooo much, and I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my butt. The class was just over 2 hours, the first was spent practicing more basic moves such as pulling your legs onto the bar and swinging upside down. You have to time things just right, and keep good posture for the harder moves to work. My mom was practicing more advanced moves, shes actually pretty good. Once you learned posture and technique they brought in the catcher and you had to swing from your bar and they caught you while swinging on another. I am pleased to say I successfully did it! :) I was so nervous and scared but it was fun. Might even go again.

American Idol

I would like to post a more official blog but I'm tired, and feeling a little lazy...

It's been a very busy week at work, and Friday we are meeting with some people about a potential pilot project, kinda excited and nervous about that one. I need to make sure I'm prepared, ive never had to pitch an idea to someone before. I'm sure the doctor will do most of the talking since he initiated it, it's really nice that he is even allowing us to be part of it (a lot of doctors are self absorbed), he wants our names attached to this is it flies.

Saturday I am going on an adventure. I will have to tell you all about it after, if I tel you now you might think I'm nuts or not believe me ;).


American Idol just ended, we have become dedicated viewers lol. If I was american I would vote but instead I will just send good vote vibes :) Im rooting for Pia and Paul. They both have amazing voices, all the contests left are good but those two are going all the way. Paul will bet a deal no matter how he does.

And that is all for today. Time to watch the episode of Full House we PVRd :) love that show

Happy Birthday Mini me :)

Today is the birthday of my 13 year old half sister :) I was trying to arrange for some flowers but not too sure yet how that turned out. I thought about calling her too, but chickened out in the end. Cause you see to call my sister that would mean calling my dads house and this is not something I have ever done before. I thought I was ready but I'm not.

My little 13 year old sister is the oldest of my two half sisters (the other is 10). She looks a lot like me, except she has brown eyes instead of blue (one of the few differences). Side profiles are very similar, both dark brown hair, long faces with our giant foreheads we inherited from our father. I myself am pretty close to being a genetic mix of 50/50 between my parents (who happen to look similar) my little sister looks like our dad and nothing like her mom.

Now the fact we look a lot alike may not sound like much, she is after all my sister. But consider the fact we met for the first time only 3 years ago. Whoa, surprise not only do you have a whole family you knew nothing about, there's a small child who is like your clone. So similar that even you confuse her pictures as your own, mini me clone. It was overwhelmingly exciting and terrifying at the same time when I first saw her picture. I imagine the rest of the family probably felt something similar seeing me a grown version of my sister.

She's a pretty cool kid. I don't know her that well yet but were getting there. I know she is quiet and shy, anxious at time, enjoys soccer and volleyball, fashion and animals. According to our family her mannerisms are similar to mine, I'm still looking for those. I had a blast dancing with her at my wedding :). She mails me letters every now and then totally cute. They usually consist of something along the lines of " hi how are you here is a picture I drew you"

I'd like to have her stay with us this summer but Hubby thinks she might be too young still. I don't even know if her mother would allow it. Either way we will be planning at least one weekend there this summer. It's hard to go often but I do get 3 weeks of holidays and still have a week thats unplanned...

I'm such a chicken I can't believe I couldn't call.. I sent a text message instead. I hope the flower plan worked out.. Maybe tomorrow I will have enough guts ;)

Happy St Pattys Day :)

So I spent the first half of the day totally oblivious that it was St Patricks day! Happy St patties day everyone :) and Happy Birthday to one of most awesome people I know pseudo cousin #1 (her parents helped my mom raise me, really she was just like a big sister).

I'm sure everyone is out drinking green beer and all that fun jazz :) I am spending the night cozied on my couch with Hubby playing angry birds and watching American Idol. Were boring like that but I'm ok with it ;)

My story chapter 3 - my dad is not an Eskimo and does not live in an igloo ;)

August 20, 2007 I receive a message in my facebook inbox saying the following
" Hi there my names ABC, I'm looking for a cousin named XYZ born month, day, year. If this is you could you let me know thanks"

Over the next few hours we establish that I am in fact who she is looking for and that she is my dads cousin. I learn where my dad is and that he has a stepdaughter and two of his own. I also learn about my heritage, apparently there's some Irish in me from my grandmothers side, and my grandfather is six nations.

August 21, 2007 the next cousin makes contact. This one is the daughter of my dads sister. Our conversation lasts for the next five days and she basically tells me anything and everything I could ever want and not want to know about my family.

August 22, 2007 my fathers wife contacts me. I learn more about my sisters and father and we begin a back and forth get to know you conversation that has been ongoing since.

At some point in the next month or so I meet my grandparents via webcam, then my youngest sister (aug 31), then my father, stepmother, other sister and step sister next. I never expected the emotions I would feel seeing these people for the first time on my computer. I think the most emotional was the "meeting" with my grandparents. My Nanny has since passed, I got to meet her once in person. RIP.

May 31, 2008 Hubby and I drive to the Toronto Zoo to meet some of my family for the first time. It is only 2 days after my 24th birthday that I meet my birth father for the first time ever. Along with him was my stepsister, cousin 1(the second one to contact me) and her husband and two kids, cousin 1's mother my aunt, and cousin 2(cousin 1's sister).

October 2008 I met my two half sisters for the first time. I should know the date but it's not coming to me at the moment. Wait correction we arrived to cousin 2s house on Halloween and met my two half sisters for the first time the following day on November 1, 2008.

The rest is all history. I try to keep in touch as much as I can, I really hate that I can't be a bigger part of my sisters lives. I miss them constantly and yet I barely know them. I hope that as they grow up they realize how important they are to me, the truth is I don't know if I would have kept in touch with my family if it wasn't for them. If only they lived closer (it's a 5-6hr drive).

I always wondered who my father was, not because I wanted a "daddy", well maybe when I was younger that was it, but as I grew older all I really wanted was to fill the gap. When I say the gap I mean I really felt like there was a gap inside me. I only knew half of who I was, and I always wondered about the things I didn't know. When I made contact with my family I felt that gap close. I could have walked away after all the information they gave me and felt fine; But with two sisters under the age of 10 knowing I knew about them, I couldn't just walk away. They apparently grew up knowing I existed, the whole family did. Cousin 2 told me that one the wall in our nanny's house all the grandchildrens pictures were hanging in order of age. I apparently was in my proper position right before hers, but my picture never changed (my mom had contact with one of my aunts briefly after my birth and sent a few pictures, the one on the wall was from when I was two years old) I wonder how weird that must have been? Anyways these little girls have known about me their whole lives I cant let them down.

My dad and family came to my wedding (the ones I've met) and I have the pictures to look at to prove it :)I was successful in getting a picture of me, my mom, and my dad. Of all the pictures taken of the night that one is one of the most special. Who woulda thought that would ever happen? I also have pictures of me dancing with one of my sisters and others that are amazing memories. I was truly happy that they agreed to come since it was only the 5th time we'd met (4th for my sisters). I remember thinking that night to myself that "my father and mother are under the same roof, all of my siblings are here together, this is never going to happen again in my life!)

Hopefully there will be many more visits, the girls are getting older now, one of them turns 13 tomorrow :). When they are old enough I would like for them to be able to visit on their own. I guess we will have to see what happens.