156 bpm :)

Today has been a good day :)

My ultrasound went much better than last time. I could tell immediately that that the image on the screen was what it was supposed to be. It looked so different last time. The technician was actually the same one as we had before but I doubt she remembered us.
She started doing her measurements right away and telling us exactly what she was doing (which she didn't do last time) And the heart beat was there at 156 :) yay the little beans heart is still thumping away. I feel so relieved.

I got some pictures this time too which was nice, I will scan them later and post them at the end of the week. I think I will do a weekly post (seems to be the trend).

She said I was measuring right on track at 7w3d and confirmed my due date as March 11.

Hubby and I have decided to tell our parents this evening. We were gonna wait to tell his til we see them again in 2 weeks but he wants to tell them now and I'm ok with that.

I'm gonna go nap now cause I slept horribly, and didn't fall asleep til at least 1am! Despite my attempt at an early night lol

Oh and ps there was only 1 little one there ;)

Weekend recap - ultrasound tomorrow

So we successfully made it through the weekend without any scares or concerns horray!
I've come to realize that weekends scare me. My past experiences (the hemhorageing, and scares) were on weekends, so whenever a weekend approaches I automatically start to feel nervous. ESP ically since we were away this past weekend and out of my comfort zone.

But like I said everything went great. Not even any spotting. We had an enjoyable (for the most part) with some moments of relaxation (more me than hubby).

The cottage belonged to Hubby's old college roommate, he's been a good friend of both of ours since then and even was the MC at our wedding. He's the type of guy that could walk into a room of strangers and everyone would treat him like their best friend. Very charismatic. And apparently observant enough to call me out on the fact I was not drinking an hour into the visit. There were only five of us there at this point and we were just sitting on the deck when he looked at me and said " your not drinking?" raises an eye brown and before I get a chance to say anything a huge smile appeared on his face. Lol there was no point in trying to hide it I just smiled back and laughed. Hubby was just coming to sit down as this happened and was confused as to how it came out so fast. hubby and I had already agreed we would tell him anyways but it was funny how fast he pickedup on it.

Throughout the weekend he (the old roommate) would look at me and randomly say "grow a penis" lol. Apparently he's rooting for a boy ;)

The cottage was located on Lake Erie and their actually was some sort of fishing compition going on, hubby didn't enter but decided to spend some time waist deep in the lake trying to catch something. No luck, but their definitely were fish out there, they were kinda taunting him, jumping out of the water or splashing around so we could see them. on the Saturday while Hubby was fishing I looked over at him and realized their was a very faint rainbow in the sky :) it only last a few minutes but I managed to get a picture or two :) Hopefully it's a good sign!

We took some time to visit a few of Hubby's family members since we were less than an hour away, just quick visits for lunch. Enough to avoid the "why didn't you visit" comments later. Hubby's maternal grandfather has Althziemers and has been declining significantly the past six months. When we left I gave him a hug and he quietly in my ear said "it was nice to meet you" :( I'm pretty sure he didn't know who Hubby even was... There is a look that Althziemers and dementia patients get when they "cross over" and are no longer living in the same world we are.... And it saddened me to see that look in his eyes this weekend. When we left I told hubby what I noticed and he admitted he noticed he different look too.

Another thing about Althzhiemers and dementia patients, is that they seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to pregnancies, those patients seem to know, I've seen with my own eyes patients announce secret pregnancies of staff members. This weekend Hubby's grandmother asked us (again) if we were pregnant "yet" ... (I'm not gonna say how much I'm sick of that question), I coyly looked at my belly, looked to my left and right and said "well I don't see any babies around here" and just laughed and smiled. That's when grandfather speaks up and says "of course not that's because it's an angel baby" ... No one else noticed his comment (they tend to ignore weird things he says) but I got goosebumps and a chill down my back. All I could think was please please please let him be talking about the miscarriage earlier this year. Please let my baby be ok... I know that may sound silly to some but like I said I've seen first hand how some of these patients just know.

And so tomorrow is my ultrasound. Duh duh duh. (that's my suspense sound)
I'm calmly nervous, slightly terrified at moments and slightly excited. Despite the good news two weekends ago I still hold an association to ultrasounds. They tell you bad news. I want good news and I'm hoping and praying I get it, but I'm as prepared as I can be if I don't. And so I've got mixed signals, I saw my rainbow, but the comment from Hubbys grandfather is in the back of my head. I have been having some more symptoms, my boobs are feeling heavy and slightly tender (finally! I've been waiting anxiously for this part), and they are pretty vieny. :s lol and I'm pretty sure that the grossness I've been feeling is nausea, it's hard to describe but it's lasting some days all day. I thinkif I talk about it anymore I may just increase the anxiety so I'm gonna stop.

Im gonna head to bed early, maybe read a bit of my book. I've been slacking on blog reading but kinda on purpose until after tomorrow. I have a fee new blogs I started following last week so I'll have to catch up and comment (also slacking) later this week.

Hope everyone had a great weekend :) sorry for such a long post!

Blah ... Cheeseburgers were not a good idea

I feel gross.
Burpy, bloated kinda nauseous gross.
All because as I was leaving work this evening I thought it would be a good idea to go to mcdonalds.
AND not only did I think it was a good idea, but for some reason I thought eating a double cheeseburger and two regular cheeseburgers was a smart move.
I don't even remember when the last time I had mcdonalds or any fast food was... So I think I kinda overdid it. Now I'm exhausted and want to sleep but can't because when I close my eyes it's all gurgles. I kinda want to puke, except puking scares me. It's only happened a handful (no exaggeration) of times in my life (if we count alcohol induced then make it two handfuls), I do everything in my power to avoid it, and cry like a baby when it happens.

This week has been pretty mediocre for me, nothing really has happened. I've worked the past two evenings, and boy am I sore after. I stand for almost eight hours straight. When I'm done my feet, knees, hips, and back all ache.

Today is two days now without spotting, so hopefully that's over with. I can't help but be nervous even with hearing good news on Saturday. I'm kinda now scared about infection... But we did a swab last Wednesday so that would tell us I'm hoping.

Were going to a friends cottage this weekend. In the middle of nowhere. The closest hospital is twenty five minutes away and it's small. Hopefully we won't need it but I can't help but worry some. If the spotting stays away that will help me feel better. Hopefully I am able to relax and enjoy myself. We debated not going but I know hubby has been looking forward to it so I'm putting on my brave face.

7 more days til my ultrasound.

I think I migh be ok to try to sleep now. I'll stop my rambling for now ;)

Hope everyone is having a good week!

75 Reminders

"75 Reminders for when Times are Tough" I've been reading this blog lately; it contains lots of inspirational and thought provoking posts.
* I can't seem to link to the blog but if you check my blog list to the right this was originally posted on "Marc and Angel Hack Life"


Tho this is long I wanted to share it with you, because even on our good days I think we sometimes need these reminders :) oxo <3



1) You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you have.

2) Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

3) You cannot change what you refuse to confront.

4)Nobody is perfect, and nobody deserves to be perfect.  Nobody has it easy.  You never know what people are going through.  Every one of us has issues.  So don’t belittle yourself or anyone else.  Everybody is fighting their own unique war.

5) Crying doesn’t indicate that you’re weak.  Since birth, it has always been a sign that you’re alive and full of potential.

6) No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
 
7) Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.

8) Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.  Let it go.

9) Making one person smile can change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  Start small.  Start now.

10) Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

11) Never let success get to your head, and never let failure get to your heart.

12) You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.

13) Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

14) You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.

15) Give up worrying about what others think of you.  What they think isn’t important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.

16) When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.

17) When other people treat you poorly, keep being you.  Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.

18) You have to accept that some things will never be yours, and learn to appreciate the things that are only yours.

19) Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by.  But that feeling is a lie.  And if you just hold on, someone will find you and help make it better.  Because we all need a little help sometimes – someone to help us hear the music in our world.  To remind us that it won’t always be this way.  That someone is out there right now.

20) Don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort zone.  Some of your best life experiences and opportunities will transpire only after you dare to lose.

21) Sometimes we accidentally allow small problems to escalate and dominate our lives.  If we get overcharged a few cents, it is irritating, but don’t let it ruin your day.  There will always be small issues that irritate us; the secret is to be able to give them the miniscule level of importance they deserve.

22) Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go. 

23) Ask yourself whether each of your relationships drags you down or lifts you up.  Surrounding yourself with positive, loving people is half the battle of living a happy, successful life.

24) Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with those who you feel pressured to impress.

25) There are few joys in life that equal a good conversation, a good read, a good walk, a good hug, a good smile, or a good friend.

26) Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future for too long.  Right now is life.  Live it.

27) No matter how cautiously you choose your words, someone will always twist them around and misinterpret what you say.  So just say what you need to say.

28) In order to be creative, we must lose our fear of being wrong.

29) Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck.

30) To be great does not mean you have to dominate others.  It means you have to dominate your own potential.

31) If you are passionate about something, pursue it, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.

32) If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.

33) Forgiveness is one of the primary keys to happiness.

34) The best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing you smile.

35) Stay positive when negativity surrounds you.  Smile when others frown.  It’s an easy way to make a difference.

36) If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.

37) Don’t regret intimate relationships that don’t work out.  Because they will only help you find the right partner for you, and better appreciate them for everything they do and everything they are.

38) What lies before us and behind us are tiny matters when compared to what lies within us.

39) The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists.  It rewards people who get things done.  And the only way to get things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

40) Never lie – not even a white lie!  When you steer away from the truth, you steer away from your soul.  Be honest, be real and tell the truth.  This awareness forces you to make better choices and be a stronger person.

41) Feelings, good and bad, always come and go.

42) Don’t get caught up in wasted potential from years past.  Potential is all we ever have.

43) We are not alone.  No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic we feel about our own situation, there will be others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie so you will continue to feel sorry for yourself.

44) It is okay to be angry.  It is never okay to be cruel.

45) Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.

46) Mistakes teach you important lessons.  Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal.  The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.

47) Money is a renewable resource.  If you lose some money, don’t sweat it.  You can always make more.  However, if you spend valuable time stressing over money, or lost opportunity, you’ll never get that time back.  Time is more valuable than money – time is the greatest constituent of life.

48) Never let people know that they got to you.  Ignore them.  Hold your head up high and pretend all their negative remarks don’t even phase you, and someday they actually won’t.

49) There is nothing to hold you back except you.  And there is only one question to ask yourself: “What would you do if you were not afraid?”  Think about it.

50) Life is way more enjoyable when you stop trying to be cool and simply focus on being yourself.

51) It’s often hard to tell just how close you are to success.

52) When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.

53) No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be.  Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.

54) You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.

55) Even when you feel like you have nothing, someone else likely has far less.  Find them and help them.  You’ll see why.

56) Laughter is the best medicine for stress.  Laugh at yourself often.  Find the humor in whatever situation you’re in.

57) If you want to feel rich, just count all the great things you have that money can’t buy.

58) Forgiving yourself is far more important than getting others to forgive you.

59) If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

60) You can press forward long after you can’t.  It’s just a matter of wanting it bad enough.

61) It’s not about getting a chance, it’s about taking a chance.  You’ll rarely be 100% sure it will work.  But you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Sometimes you just have to go for it!

62) If it were easy everyone would do it.  This is why get rich quick schemes will never be true.  If it was so quick and easy then everyone would be millionaires.  Accomplishing great things is hard work, but well worth it.

63) Notice and cherish life’s surprises.  Just because it’s not what you were expecting, doesn’t mean it’s not everything you’ve been waiting for.

64) Be vulnerable.  Allow yourself to feel, to be open and authentic.  Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around you and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad.  This is real life.  This is how you welcome new opportunities.

65) You must create and look for opportunities.  Opportunities rarely ever come knocking on the door of someone who’s not seeking them.  You have to create and seek opportunities for yourself.  You have to take the initiative to get the ball rolling and the doors opening.

66) If it’s out of your control, why fret about it?  Concentrating on things you can control is how you make good things happen.

67) Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities. 

68) No matter how much progress you make there will always be the people who insist that whatever you’re trying to do is impossible. Or they may incessantly suggest that the idea or dream as a whole is utterly ridiculous because nobody really cares. When you come across these people, don’t try to reason with them. Instead, forget that they exist. They will only waste your time and energy.

69) If you spend 80% of your time focusing on the problem and only 20% on the solution, what do you think is going to happen?

70) No matter how badly you think your life may be going, or how messed up you think you are, there is at least one thing you are doing right in your life or you wouldn’t be alive reading this.

71) A problem is a chance for you to learn.

72) The greatest struggle is to be something different from what the average man is.

73) In times of great stress, it’s always wise to keep busy, to plow your anger and frustration into something positive.

74) One thing is for sure: Regardless of the situation, life goes on.

75) Everyone wants a perfect ending.  But over the years I’ve learned that some of the best poems don’t rhyme, and many great stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, or end.  Life is about not knowing, embracing change, and taking a moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next.

There was a heartbeat!

So the past few days have been stressful to say the least, and I feel like the next eleven will be as well but our moods have shifted and we are feeling more optimistic.

If you recall I posted earlier this week that I was having some spotting, it wasn't red but it was there and I was scared. It continued again Thursday on and off, sometimes I'd go to the bathroom and it would be there, sometimes we'd be all clear. Friday was a great day, clear ALL day! I was so happy, we decided to go out for dinner with MOH and hubby's cousin (her fiancé), dinner was great, everyone was carefree and having a good time. And then we got home and I went the bathroom...

There it was. And it was red. Not bright red but red. I panicked grabbed the keys and told hubby (who had some beers at dinner and was half in the bag) to get in the car. The drive down was a blur. I remember trying to keep my composure so I could drive there without crashing. Waiting in triage I started panicking. Luckily it remained as spotting, no one even looked down there. The doctor did a quick scan on the portable ultrasound machine to make sure it wasn't ectopic, took some blood and since I had stopped spotting at the time sent me home. But told us we needed to come back for an actual ultrasound.

This morning I woke to our phone ringing, in my hazy half awake state I spoke to the ultrasound tech who asked if we could be there at 9am (less than an hour). Oh ya that's right, last night wasn't a dream.. So we hurried back to the hospital, me chugging three tall glasses of water on the way.

So we had an ultrasound, first an abdominal one and then I had my first introduction to the wand ma jiggy (or whatever it was Maria called it lol). Ya that was awkward, Hubby's face was kinda funny when she explained where that was going! She took a bunch of pics, pushed on my stomach, had me hold my breath, all sorts of fun. Hubby told me later that when I was holding my breath she was looking for a heartbeat. Obviously we didn't expect to see one, after all I'm only going on 6 weeks tomorrow and everywhere I've read said that's the week it starts.

After the technician was done and I was getting dressed Hubby was all excited. I didn't get to see the screen but he could, and he was convinced he saw the baby. Horray for baby being in my uterus (we think) next we had to wait for the doctor to come with the results.

We waited just over an hour, which wasn't too bad. We went and got breakfast at the hospitals cafe and it was actually pretty good. Next we were ushered into one of the gyne rooms in emerg (thankfully not the same room that I hemorrhaged in) after a short wait the doctor came, asked how I was feeling, no cramps? No bleeding? Then asked if the tech told us anything....

We just kinda looked at each other and waited for the worst. But to our surprise the doctor had a grin on his face and told us the scan reveled a healthy pregnancy and even a heartbeat! I'm not sure who said what but Hubby and I were so shocked to hear him say heartbeat lol there was a "WHAT" and "ALREADY?" and the doctor chuckled a little.

So currently the little bean has a heartbeat :) I feel so relieved. Were not totally out of the woods yet but we can see thru the trees. They couldn't find any reason for the spotting, but they seemed optimistic everything was looking good. So now we count down to the ultrasound which I am still nervous about but feeling much better. Only eleven more days.

Not feeling to positive :(

I'm going to start by saying I highly dislike my doctor.... She doesn't have a clue...

*warning potentially TMI descriptions used*

My day today started with my 530am (becoming routine) pee, in my half awake state I notice that the toilet paper had a slightly brownish discharge to it (I always look cause I'm paranoid), I was kinda freaked but shrugged it off and went back to sleep.

An hour later I made myself (so I could look) pee again before leaving to take Hubby to work... There it was again....light brown on the toilet paper... I was slightly more panicked but didn't tell Hubby.

After I dropped him off I came home and went back to sleep. I woke around 9:30 and pee'd again...this time all clear. But it didn't help my growing fear...I called the doctors office and told the receptionist (who is the sweetest thing ever) she told me to stay in bed if possible and call her if there's blood. My appointment was at 1:20pm so I spent the morning in bed, pee'd a few more times (still clear) and tried to relax.

At my appointment I pee'd in my cup and noticed a slight tinge on the toilet paper again. Not as noticeable as before but it was there. My doctor (whom I saw for confirmation last week) asked all the same questions as before, as if it was my first time seeing her. When was my last period, is this my first pregnancy, do I have living children etc in-between my answers she flipped thru my chart looking at papers (papers that should have had the info I'm telling her). Then she asks (with a puzzled look) when my last pap was. Duh it should be in my file it was in January when I was pregnant. Then she says she needs to have the results faxed to her so we can determine if I need another? Wtf after the last pap she sat there with the supposed results in her hand and told me all was good. Where did they go?

After about 5 minutes she comes back says the results arrived I don't need one, just one swab to send for cultures and has me do it myself. Wouldnt you know it, there it was on the swab the brownish discharge. To me it looks similar to the discharge right before or right after my period... She just looks at it and says book an appointment in 4 weeks and if I start to bleed go to the hospital.

That's it?!?!

WTF?!?

I haven't been having any "cramping" just a few twinges and a kind of stretching feeling the past few days. So now I just sit and have to wait and see what happens. Great.

I'm trying really really hard to stay positive. Some ppl have actual bleeding and have successful pregnancies... I could be fine.

Today I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

Oh and yesterday I found out girl cousin is having twins. So ya how's that for salt in the wound....I'm probably gonna skip out of our big brother gathering tomorrow....

Owie owie owie

:( I am a giant stripped lobster.

I decided to spend my day off today lounging in the pool over at Hubby's Aunts house. It was great. Such a good way to spend a hot day. I usually do not burn much, maybe my face might get a little red but it usually fades after a day. Well usually I am not hanging out by water when tanning, and I kinda forgot it attracts the suns rays... And now I am a red hot mess. And to make it worse I have stripes... Apparently I must have been sitting on an angle, because the left half of my face is turning bright red, and the right side of my face and neck are super white... I have stripes down most of my body too... I don't remember it being so hard to get an even tan when I was younger. Evil evil sun.

Pictures to follow because it is too horrible to keep to myself :(

Oh and I am almost out of aloe vera.... This is gonna suck.

Holy it's Saturday already!

This week has flown by.
I have a lot of blog reading to catch up on, I tried a few times to get on here but Hubby has been hogging the iPad. Between lack of access (because apparently turning on the actual computer is too much work) and being at work I haven't felt overly ambitious to sign on.

Work is different. Different as in a different role than I'm used to, less responsibility than I'm use to, and more residents that I'm caring for. A lot more. Tuesday evening was straight up hell. I was supposed to be having my second orientation shift but instead was put on the floor with an RN to oversee me because they were so short. Sure put the girl who hasn't passed pills on a med cart and have her give medications to 48 complete strangers, oh and have someone who never passes pills supervise her and call it training. I was dreading going back but Thursday was much better. Different floor, actual orientation and a really helpful and nice nurse training me. I got back this Thursday for one more training shift then I'm on my own next weekend.

Wednesday I went to see my doctor to get the official confirmation on the pregnancy. Of course I pee'd in a cup and she said I was pregnant. That's pretty much it. Sometimes I don't like my doctor and that was one of those days. I felt rushed, she didn't say anything about the miscarriage and didn't ask me if I even had questions or concerns. As she was filling out the req for my blood work I asked her if there was anything I should or shouldn't be doing. Should eat healthy, remain stress free as possible, and take my vitamins. The should not list includes exercise and sex. Good to know, would she have told me if I hadn't asked? I also had her write me a note to excuse me from night shifts at work, I wanted this anyways since it really puts stress on my body but I think now that I'm pregnant it helped. Avoid stress for healthy pregnancy, also avoid stress to reduce risk of epileptic seizures. I had to give the letter to the occupational nurse at work and also reveled to her my pregnancy. I figured I'd better just be upfront now.

I go back to my doctor this coming Wednesday for I think an exam? I also got my ultrasound booked for July 27th. Seems to close but I guess I will be almost 8 weeks at that time, and they think the last one stopped growing around that time. I anticipate that week will be very stressful... I think I'm going to ask for more blood work prior or else I might have a panic attack in the ultrasound waiting room.

Hubby has been pretty nervous, we've actually been having some good conversations are things in general. He's worried about the next few weeks, as well worried about next March and having a baby while he's finishing trade school and preparing to write his exam for his license. Things like how are we going to afford this, what if I get put on bed rest or have to take sick leave, what if he gets laid off in the next few months? I'm also having mixed emotions these days, I'm excited, but I'm terrified.

Tomorrow I will be five weeks pregnant.
Besides the fact that in the evenings my stomach swells in size so much you'd think I was four months pregnant I haven't been having many symptoms. Im still a recent visitor to the bathroom my kidneys must be working in overdrive, my headaches have been gone since last Sunday (after a daily headache for almost a week), there have been one or two occasions of very mild nausea but I think it had more to do with being hungry or from eating.

I want to be more excited. I should be more excited. It doesn't seem fair that this has to be tainted because of fears while other are completely oblivious and having carefree pregnancies.

Long Weekend recap

Happy Fourth of July to my American friends :) Hope you are enjoying your day off today... I have to work... But I also did have Friday off while you were at work ;)  lol
So Friday being that it was Canada day we enjoyed a nice BBQ with swimming (for some, I didn't feel like it) at Hubby's cousin's house. This is one of those second cousins but because they are Italian everyone is just a "cousin" lol. Anyhoo we had a great time, the weather was gorgeous, everyone wore their red and white clothes, we even put on a few patriotic temporary tattoos (one of the little kids had on 8 by the end of the day). The food was great. I BBQ but my BBQ never tastes as good as when other people do it... I must figure out what I am missing ... lol Hubby and I were exhausted by the end of the day. Good sleep was had that night for sure. Oh and there was firework right in our own backyard this year! We opted not to go down to the water (its always crazy busy) and got to watch the neighbors put on their own display (which may or may not have been illegal since I'm pretty sure the bilaw states you need to be 100ft from any houses...)

Oh and Friday I attempted to do my first ever french braid on my bangs... its kind of sad looking but not bad considering ;) It looked cute from a front view... that could just be me ;)

It kinda looks like a braid? Maybe... ? lol

Saturday was kind of a relax at home, do a few chores, work on a few projects kind of day. I'm trying to make a cake topper for MOH's wedding cake... its proving to be a challenging task and I hope she likes it. If she doesn't want to use it I understand too lol. It was during my time working on the cake topper that I got the urge to test and as I've already told you it was positive! I called the doctors office today and I go in tomorrow to confirm :) I'm trying to remain positive and not worry much. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts*** lol Oh and I did tell Hubby later that afternoon, I waited until he seemed kinda liked he liked me again and then told him I wanted to show him what Id been doing all afternoon. lol. Its funny when he sees the stick, he reacted the same last time too, doesn't say too much. Just sort of looks at it, and looks at me with a slight smile on his face, and a slight twinkle in his eye. It takes him a day or two before he really gets excited, I think its processing time lol. He actually brought it up yesterday, said something about the "what ifs" I think he's trying not to get to excited this time because of last time. Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts***

Of course I'm gonna show you ;) That sucker appeared in less than 10 seconds!

Sunday was HOT!! OMG sweating after a 15 minute walk with the dog at 10:30am kinda hot. I didnt even check the weather channel because I simply did not want to know. After taking the dog out I decided to head over to the mall to pick up my fabulous new shoes that I ordered for MOH's wedding. The air conditioning in the mall felt amazing (it wasn't until yesterday evening we finally turned on our central air). When I got home again I found hubby and the animals all hanging out in the basement to get some relief from the heat, and after being home for about maybe 10 minutes I received a bbm from MOH saying they were at Hubby's Aunt's house swimming in the pool. Yay for pools!! You didn't need to ask us twice we jumped up and quickly changed into out suits and spent the whole afternoon lounging in the pool which was followed by another awesome BBQ. I think its offical, summer is here. Two BBQ's and pool "parties" in 3 days = summer :) Oh and after yesterday Hubby decided it was time to turn the air on. We had been putting it off since we get a good breeze through the house and the basement is cool but we are gonna need it if there's more days like yesterday.

Ta Da! I LOVE them :D !! 

So that's my weekend recap :) I start my new job offically this evening.. kinda nervous about that, and I've got that appointment tomorrow... Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive thoughts*** :)

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

I couldn't wait....

So there I was just sitting up in my craft room/spare room and all of a sudden I got up walked to the bathroom and pulled out that little test. It was like a little voice in my head told me it was time. I don't know what came over me, I was quite content with waiting another day. So I did it, I tested..... Hubby doesn't know I even bought a test let alone that I took it, and this morning we had a fight. A stupid fight but a fight none the less. He's still mad at me. Kinda avoiding me actually. As stupid as the fight was it wasn't the kind of fight that could be resolved by me telling him about the test either, in fact it might only prolong the fight. So now I'm stumped, how do I tell him about my BFP!?! :)

Sending good thoughts to everyone in their tww :)

Happy long weekend :)

For everyone who gets a one, Happy long weekend! And if you don't get a long weekend where your from may I suggest taking one anyways? Lol you know you wanna ;)

I've made my pasta salad, beers are in the fridge, I've got my red and white ensemble and I'm ready to celebrate Canada day :) were going to a cousins for a little BBQ and pool party and might go check out the fireworks later too (btw perk of living so close to the border I can watch fireworks today and Monday!)

Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!





p.s. I bought a pregnancy test... It's sitting on the shelf under the bathroom sink. I'm tempted to use it but won't just in case this is just another wonky cycle. If AF doesn't show by Sunday I'm breaking that sucker out!